Chapel Replaces Communion Wine with Vodka and Grape Fanta

By Pete Peterson Businesses have struggled since the pandemic began last March, and not even churches could escape the crash.  Although the Catholics have mostly avoided any new child-fondling instances, the Pope was forced to make business decisions to turn the stock back in the direction of the big man upstairs (and Gamestop).  Stagnation talked … Continue reading Chapel Replaces Communion Wine with Vodka and Grape Fanta

First Year Film Students Help Accelerate Demolition of Alumni Hall

By Rosemary Harper This Monday marked the beginning of construction for Fairfield U’s new Convocation Center and the demolition of our beloved airplane hangar, formerly known as Alumni Hall. The hyped up deconstruction of the old facility has left students less than excited to say the least, as many members of the Fairfield community were … Continue reading First Year Film Students Help Accelerate Demolition of Alumni Hall

Stagnation Battle For Role of Editor-in-Chief; Winner Declared Within Remains of Alumni Hall

By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium FORMERLY ALUMNI HALL - The winner of Stagnation declared herself amongst the rubble of the demolished Alumni Hall, clutching the former Editor-in-Chief as she gave a victory screech. “Yeah, anyway, I’m head of Stagnation now,” Claire E. T. Nunn ‘24 reported calmly, “I guess it’s cool.” During the demolition of Alumni … Continue reading Stagnation Battle For Role of Editor-in-Chief; Winner Declared Within Remains of Alumni Hall

StagsTV Announces New Kids Program; Plans Quickly Cancelled

By Frederick "Quickie" Mercurium MEDIA CENTER - Reagen Ruskie ‘23 has canceled all plans for the StagsTV Kids block following backlashes against the new direction taken by the show. “We did segments about how cool our dorms looked,” complained Bianca Steppenoutte ‘19, “And now we’re just doing some weird Wiggles crap? Trash.” Potential programs such … Continue reading StagsTV Announces New Kids Program; Plans Quickly Cancelled

FUSA Constitution Rewritten to Ban “Un-Stag-Like” Speech

By Nathan Schmidt This week, an anonymous Stagnation reporter uncovered provisions in the new FUSA Constitution to ban what it describes as “un-Stag-like” speech. The constitutional document, which was rewritten this semester and ratified last month, bans any speech, writing or body language on campus that contradicts “Stag spirit, Jesuit values, or good ideas from … Continue reading FUSA Constitution Rewritten to Ban “Un-Stag-Like” Speech

“Fairfield In Focus” Gives Incoming First Years A Taste of Zoom

By Nathan Schmidt Last week, Fairfield University clubs participated in the second of the semester’s two Fairfield In Focus events — not on campus, of course, but over Zoom. The online-only quarantine-safe events, which were designed to introduce incoming first year students to the many exciting student-run groups at the university, successfully conveyed everything they … Continue reading “Fairfield In Focus” Gives Incoming First Years A Taste of Zoom

‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Review: Not Enough Human Drama

By Marvin Irwin Pretentious. Intellectual. A Bore. All of the phrases I have just listed perfectly sum up the film “Godzilla vs. Kong.” Never before have we seen such a disconnect between what the audience craves and what a director gives to us.  My whole awful experience of viewing this movie began as I made … Continue reading ‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Review: Not Enough Human Drama

Fairfield Priest Demands to Know What ‘Updog’ Is

By Nathan Schmidt Students were unsettled this week when Jesuit priest Rube Marky was spotted wandering campus and asking students what ‘Updog’ is. The priest, known affectionately to the student body as Father “Total” Rube, went from Jogues to Faber asking this same question over and over again: What exactly is this ‘Updog’ everyone is … Continue reading Fairfield Priest Demands to Know What ‘Updog’ Is

Class of 2021 Petitioning for Dunkin Gift Cards

By Rosemary Harper A new, highly popular petition has been flying around Fairfield campus. What is this hot new movement, you may ask? It can be summed up in two words: Dunkin Donuts.  Among recent news of graduation plans for the class of 2021, there have been mixed opinions surrounding how the ceremony (or ceremonies … Continue reading Class of 2021 Petitioning for Dunkin Gift Cards

Ford Releases New Bronco, OJ Seeks Royalties For Every White One Sold

By Marvin Irwin If you love off-road capabilities, durability, double homicide, and American engineering, then Ford has just released the perfect car for you.  This past year, Ford announced that it was bringing back its iconic SUV, the Ford Bronco. Bringing back the Bronco makes a lot of sense for Ford.  The Bronco is one … Continue reading Ford Releases New Bronco, OJ Seeks Royalties For Every White One Sold