Presball DJ Revealed to be Time Traveler from 2013

by Pepper Pippins Stagnation reporters have uncovered the truth about the DJ at the 2021 Presidential Ball. Last Friday marked the first major on campus event since the start of the Covid19 pandemic. Students expected to encounter covid related limitations, however there was one thing that no one expected. All the music was at least … Continue reading Presball DJ Revealed to be Time Traveler from 2013

Numerous Students Gone Missing After Pres Ball; Authorities Brush Off as Students Partying Hard

Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium BELLARMINE - Sunday morning, authorities are on the lookout for several missing students following the Presidential Ball. Despite the enormous turnout for freshmen and higher, all attendees disappeared under unknown circumstances.  “It’s just the way these college kids roll,” DPS Officer Jim Jambo stated Saturday, “First, they get absolutely black-out drunk. Then, … Continue reading Numerous Students Gone Missing After Pres Ball; Authorities Brush Off as Students Partying Hard