Op-Ed: Seeing Red; Why on Earth Is the Last COVID-19 Danger Level Purple?

By Mike Wishart This past weekend, after seeing a troubling and sudden rise in COVID-19 cases on campus, the University announced that we would be moving to Status Level Orange. This means that the RecPlex has closed, posing a serious threat to the #gains of the campus community. The Tully is now entirely grab-and- go, … Continue reading Op-Ed: Seeing Red; Why on Earth Is the Last COVID-19 Danger Level Purple?

Study Reveals Turkey’s Beards are Reason for Their Brazen Nature

By Rosemary Harper Turkeys are a common sight around the Fairfield U campus. They are fearless and they don’t give a shit. You have probably wondered where this brazen nature of theirs comes from, as we at Stagnation have asked time and time again. Well folks, strap in and hold on to your hats because … Continue reading Study Reveals Turkey’s Beards are Reason for Their Brazen Nature

Op-Ed: I’m Sorry, But That Cupcake Is Not 60 Calories

By Nathan Schmidt Fairfield University, like all Jesuit universities, bears a duty for truth and clarity. And that duty extends into the Tully. It’s bad enough to be given bright green steamed broccoli that turns out to be frozen and thawed nearly to mush. There is absolutely no excuse for labeling a Samoa cupcake as … Continue reading Op-Ed: I’m Sorry, But That Cupcake Is Not 60 Calories

University Has Updated Its Privacy Policy, Bathroom Stalls and Curtains Removed

By Mike Wishart You may have seen a bit more of your neighbors than you planned in the past few days. That’s likely because the university has updated its privacy policy, and as a result all bathroom stalls, shower/window curtains, and doors on campus have been removed. In addition, surveillance cameras have been placed in … Continue reading University Has Updated Its Privacy Policy, Bathroom Stalls and Curtains Removed

Masked Prankster Drops Tide Pods into People’s Water Bottles

By Chase Galloway The laundry room is always total ass. There is always some dryer not working and like, 99 minutes racked up on it. And most of the washers either have a bunch of finished clothes just sitting there or a bunch of loose coins and other shit sitting in the back of the … Continue reading Masked Prankster Drops Tide Pods into People’s Water Bottles

Op-Ed: The Tully Has Betrayed Us

By Nathan Schmidt To Sodexo: This is an open letter to you, concerning the grievance inflicted on the student body and my own person this week. I believed in you. I believed in the food at the Tully. You promised the world to us when the dining hall was renovated. You delivered for such a … Continue reading Op-Ed: The Tully Has Betrayed Us

Op-Ed: “““Art””” in Bannow should be taken down

By Willoughby Humphrey The Bannow Science Center is a proud beacon of scientific thought on campus here at Fairfield University. But while admiring the scientific portraits of fish and birds, I noticed on the wall of the second floor a piece of art so heinous and wrong-footed, that naturally I had to write an article … Continue reading Op-Ed: “““Art””” in Bannow should be taken down

Stagnation Writers Stage Administrative Coup

By Brad Wilson At last week's Stagnation meeting, the four active members of Stagnation discussed the inactivity of our satirical newspaper. We also discussed staging a coup to overthrow the older e-board, which worked well because nobody on the older e-board was there. It was a very successful coup. We then agreed to abide to … Continue reading Stagnation Writers Stage Administrative Coup

BRO Facebook Group Needs to Get it Together

By EEC I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of seeing pictures of cars in the Class of 2019 BRO Facebook page. If these pictures won’t stop, then at least let’s add some variety. To that end, here is a list of suggestions of pictures to post to liven up the … Continue reading BRO Facebook Group Needs to Get it Together

Pineapple Pizza: A Rant

By Trevor MacDonnell There are only seven deadly sins because God didn’t really think that one needed to be stated. For the love of God don’t put pineapple on your pizza. I mean really, what kind of sick person does that? It’s an abomination.   “I just really like the taste of sour pineapple with … Continue reading Pineapple Pizza: A Rant