Coronacation: Campus-Wide Hide and Seek Gone Too Far

By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium Fairfield University reported that the “Campus Hide & Seek” FYE Thrive Event created a problem in attendance in classes. DPS has noticed that they cannot locate any students or staff on the campus. Unfortunately, as much as the University notifies all that the event was only meant to last for a … Continue reading Coronacation: Campus-Wide Hide and Seek Gone Too Far

Coronacation: Students Celebrate Semester-Long Spring Break

By Nathan Schmidt The term “coronacation” is generally reserved for the phenomenon of people using reduced prices during the pandemic to go traveling. But no better portmanteau of two words could describe the delightful situation now upon many Fairfield University students — who, in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic and the ensuing closing, have found … Continue reading Coronacation: Students Celebrate Semester-Long Spring Break

Coronacation: Tully Still Contains Food From Before Spring Break

By Nathan Schmidt Fairfield University campus has become a ghost town since the COVID-19 pandemic caused the administration to move all classes online till the end of March. But in the Tully this week, the picture was even grimmer, as Stagnation reporters slowly realized that all of the food on display had been in storage … Continue reading Coronacation: Tully Still Contains Food From Before Spring Break

Coronacation: Professors Rejoice As Online Classes Let Them Finally Teach In Bathrobes

By Nathan Schmidt This week, even as deathly quiet settled over Fairfield University campus, the faculty celebrated the best part of all-online classes: the ability to teach from their homes while wearing bathrobes. The online classes, which come as part of a nationwide effort of social distancing in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic, have … Continue reading Coronacation: Professors Rejoice As Online Classes Let Them Finally Teach In Bathrobes

Tully Steps Up Water Conservation Efforts By Not Even Pretending to Wash Dishes

By Mike Wishart With the cries for increased conservation efforts becoming so loud that business leaders can no longer pretend they can’t hear them, many businesses and institutions are begrudgingly doing the bare minimum to reduce their impact on the environment. Fairfield University is proud to call itself one such institution, and campus administration has … Continue reading Tully Steps Up Water Conservation Efforts By Not Even Pretending to Wash Dishes

Doe Single-Handedly Takes On The FUSA Council; Wins By Landslide

Freddie “Quickie” Mercurium During the FUSA Presidential Election, a third-party candidate was quickly entered into the polls. Known only as Doe, many assumed this to be a surprise anonymous candidate. By some miracle, Doe won, only for many students to be confused by the arrival of an actual doe when brought in. Wearing a new … Continue reading Doe Single-Handedly Takes On The FUSA Council; Wins By Landslide

Stagnation Writer Wins Coveted Journalism Award

By Pete Peterson It has been years in the making, but it has finally happened: a Stagnation writer has won an award. Often overlooked due to its small size, Stagnation had zero nominations for major awards before this year. But things are looking a little bit different after writer Pete Peterson was awarded the “Alex … Continue reading Stagnation Writer Wins Coveted Journalism Award

Student Half Crushed by Vending Machine, Now Suffers from FADS (Flat Ass Depression Syndrome)

By Rosemary Harper Two weeks ago, while trying to purchase a packet of Cheez-Its from the BCC vending machine, Mark Stuarting ‘21 met found himself in a tragic accident that resulted in the bottom half of his body being flattened. While attempting to purchase his cheesy snack, much to his frustration, the packet became stuck … Continue reading Student Half Crushed by Vending Machine, Now Suffers from FADS (Flat Ass Depression Syndrome)

Swim Team Disqualified After Floaties Found in Locker Rooms

By Nathan Schmidt Waves were made this week in campus athletics when officials discovered a cache of performance-enhancing water wings in the RecPlex men’s locker room. The illicit boosters were quickly traced to every member of the Fairfield University men’s swimming and diving roster. A subsequent investigation revealed that the swimmers had been using the … Continue reading Swim Team Disqualified After Floaties Found in Locker Rooms