By Nathan Schmidt
The term “coronacation” is generally reserved for the phenomenon of people using reduced prices during the pandemic to go traveling. But no better portmanteau of two words could describe the delightful situation now upon many Fairfield University students — who, in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic and the ensuing closing, have found that their spring vacation simply isn’t ending.
Sophomore student Bert Gertrude ‘22 contacted Stagnation reporters from his parents’ home on Long Island, saying, “This is great! I’m back home with all of my old video games from 2005! And nobody can stop me. I have no obligations. None!”
Additionally, with local businesses closed and the economy seemingly in free-fall, there is no pressure for students at home to take up part-time jobs for the duration. The pressure to maintain social distancing means that students are unable to gather in public as easily, but this has mainly given rise to Zoom chats filled with bizarre photo backgrounds and loud music.
Senior student Kelly Nutherin ‘20 said from her home outside Albany, “It’s really great how technology is letting us stay connected even when we’re so far apart. I’m so excited to spend time with my friends through March, April and May. And we’re still going to get all of our credit hours for the spring. There’s no downside to this scenario except for the global pandemic of disease, which isn’t even our problem.”
Sources confirmed today that campus faculty have decided to maintain online learning through the semester by all opening accounts on Snapchat.
Stagnation 