COSO loses thousands after bad Super Bowl Bet; General Fee hike expected

By Pete Peterson If only Elon Musk was the President of COSO.  Over the weekend, as millions mourned yet another Tom Brady Super Bowl win, COSO was doing what it does best: be terrible with money.  The Federal Reserve of Fairfield University Clubs placed a hefty bet on the Super Bowl, wagering the budgets of … Continue reading COSO loses thousands after bad Super Bowl Bet; General Fee hike expected

Fairfield Students Form New ‘TSA’ Club: Turkey-Student Alliance

April Griffin A new club has made its way to Fairfield's vast array of extracurriculars: the Turkey-Student Alliance club. Founder Jimmy Gallagher says he created the club to make the turkeys feel welcomed on Fairfield's campus. "In my three years at Fairfield so far, I have not once seen anyone be nice to the turkeys," … Continue reading Fairfield Students Form New ‘TSA’ Club: Turkey-Student Alliance

First Year Student Declares Himself FUSA President

By Rosemary Harper 2020 is full of unprecedented situations and circumstances- and we here at Fairfield University have just been smacked in the face with another one. As the molasses of the 2020 Presidential Election continues to take its sweet, sweet time, first year student Brett Jarrods '24 has decided to follow Donald Trump’s example … Continue reading First Year Student Declares Himself FUSA President

Fairfield University Attempts Anime Brand; Accidentally Creates Hentai

By Freddie “Quickie” Mercurium A decision by the FUSA Senate called for Fairfield University to better brand itself as an inclusive university by appealing to the Anime Club. Putting an art group to the task, they were instructed to making anime pieces centered on-campus life. Unfortunately, some students in the group decided to take extra … Continue reading Fairfield University Attempts Anime Brand; Accidentally Creates Hentai

Doe Single-Handedly Takes On The FUSA Council; Wins By Landslide

Freddie “Quickie” Mercurium During the FUSA Presidential Election, a third-party candidate was quickly entered into the polls. Known only as Doe, many assumed this to be a surprise anonymous candidate. By some miracle, Doe won, only for many students to be confused by the arrival of an actual doe when brought in. Wearing a new … Continue reading Doe Single-Handedly Takes On The FUSA Council; Wins By Landslide

FUSA Senate Overthrown by Dictatorship

By Nathan Schmidt The last FUSA Senate meeting, held just a week ago, may well go down as the last FUSA Senate meeting. What began as an ordinary evening of procedure and protocol ended in fire and zealotry, as the entire student government body was disbanded in favor of a one-man dictatorship. Nicholas Kyle Copenhagen … Continue reading FUSA Senate Overthrown by Dictatorship

Mr. Macabre’s Hall of Happiness – The Beauty of Nothing

Michael Atkins A new exhibit was opened in a new wing of Loyola Hall, dubbed “Mr. Macabre’s Hall of Happiness”. The contributor seems to have been under the name “Mason Macabre,” funding completely all of its construction. Given free admission for a review, I entered the hall with a positive fight. Entering the pitch-black painted … Continue reading Mr. Macabre’s Hall of Happiness – The Beauty of Nothing

Finance Clubs Blow COSO Funding on Cocaine

By Alexis Shepard It was a tough outing at the latest COSO Academy meeting. The budgets had been released and everyone was together to voice their frustration at the collective lack of money given out to clubs. Insults and threats were hurled and the worried staff of COSO tried to explain that FUSA had barely … Continue reading Finance Clubs Blow COSO Funding on Cocaine

FUSA Senate Authorizes the Purge

By Akaky Akakievich I am writing again with some grave news, comrades. The FUSA Senate has issued a chilling statement that reminds me of home in all of the wrong ways. With a unanimous vote, the Senate agreed to enact an annual purge on all of the students at Fairfield University. On Thursday, October 31st, … Continue reading FUSA Senate Authorizes the Purge

FUSA Senate Denies the Existence of Friday

By the Guy in the Blue Scarf Wednesday’s FUSA Senate meeting ended with a surprising result as they voted down a proposal to recognize the calendar day of Friday. In the unanimous vote, FUSA Senators said that “Since our decisions are the most important and our say is absolute we have the power to decide … Continue reading FUSA Senate Denies the Existence of Friday