Fairfield Students Form New ‘TSA’ Club: Turkey-Student Alliance

April Griffin

A new club has made its way to Fairfield’s vast array of extracurriculars: the Turkey-Student Alliance club. Founder Jimmy Gallagher says he created the club to make the turkeys feel welcomed on Fairfield’s campus.

“In my three years at Fairfield so far, I have not once seen anyone be nice to the turkeys,” Gallagher says. “They’ve been around this campus longer than we have, it’s time we start treating them with the respect they deserve.”

Several students have shown their support for the club. Membership statistics so far display 53% students and 47% turkeys, with numbers growing daily.

One of the turkeys in the club weighed in his opinion on the movement as well. With the Thanksgiving holiday around the corner, the turkeys knew they had to seize the opportunity before it was too late. “Bock. Bock bock bock!” Turkey translator specialist Gabby White translates, “It’s always where are the turkeys, not how are the turkeys. :(“

However, rumors are circulating around that the club will soon face legal issues since its rise in popularity is leading to confusion with the US Department of Homeland Security’s TSA: Transportation Security Administration. Some suspect that the club will be renamed to a new, unique name: FUSA: Fairfield University Students And (Turkeys).

Stay tuned to Stagnation for more updates!

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