Dolan Hall Ghost Holds Up Vomiting Student’s Hair

By Katherine Klima A majority of college students will agree that one truly gets on a spiritual level with someone the moment they hold your hair back as you vomit into a toilet because you downed those extra six shots of tequila, even though they told you not to in the first place because you’re … Continue reading Dolan Hall Ghost Holds Up Vomiting Student’s Hair

Pineapple Pizza: A Rant

By Trevor MacDonnell There are only seven deadly sins because God didn’t really think that one needed to be stated. For the love of God don’t put pineapple on your pizza. I mean really, what kind of sick person does that? It’s an abomination. “I just really like the taste of sour pineapple with … Continue reading Pineapple Pizza: A Rant

Stags In the Stands Hemorrhages Money

By Zachary Quinones One of the organizations on campus that is supposed to appear at our home games is Stags in the Stands (SITS). Recently there have been reports suggesting that they are running low on funds after their most recent purchase for their members: invisibility cloaks. These cloaks, latent with new optically-active superlattices, have … Continue reading Stags In the Stands Hemorrhages Money

Inside the Trump Administration’s Mass Firings

By Zachary Quinones It is no secret that the Trump administration has had its share of people being fired or leaving the administration. From former chief strategist and known staring contest winner Steve Bannon to Former White House Chief of Staff and known by the president ‘he-who-shall-not-be-named-because-I-can’t-pronounce-it’ Reince Priebus, people have been dropping like flies, … Continue reading Inside the Trump Administration’s Mass Firings

Freshman Totally Has, Like, the Worst Roommate Ever

By Ellie Conklin Freshman year is hard for everyone but Kayla Simpkins, 18, is sure that she is suffering more than everyone else at Fairfield. Kayla, a nursing major from New Jersey, is slowly coming to terms with those age-old feelings of pent-up resentment and lack of much-needed alone time with which every upperclassman is … Continue reading Freshman Totally Has, Like, the Worst Roommate Ever

Swimmer Mistakes Dolan Pond for RecPlex Pool

By Amy Beth Following the near drowning incident due to the frigid temperatures of the Dolan Pond, swimmer Rebecca Fin agreed to sit for an interview with Stagnation. Stagnation: Thanks so much for taking the time to be with us today. Rebecca: It’s an honor to be here! S: Let’s begin, given that you are … Continue reading Swimmer Mistakes Dolan Pond for RecPlex Pool

Ask Bruce the Goose

Hi Bruce, I'm in an ethics class this semester and I'm a little confused over what I would do in a given situation. The ethical dilemma goes as follows: There is a runaway Trolley car that is about to hit five people who are tied to the train track. Next to me is a fat … Continue reading Ask Bruce the Goose

“Straight Outta Campion” Says Student Who Has Never Left the Suburbs

By Gracianne Eldrenkamp FAIRFIELD, CT—Ever since undeclared business major and intramural lacrosse player, Chad Murphy ‘21 has arrived on campus, he has been doing his best to assimilate into the Fairfield University lifestyle. His wardrobe consists of exclusively Vineyard Vines long-sleeve shirts and Adidas slides. He’s worships Quentin Tarantino films, and he’s even earned the … Continue reading “Straight Outta Campion” Says Student Who Has Never Left the Suburbs

Cool Kids Abandon Tide Pods to Start Vaping Detergent

By Ellie Conklin Move over, Tide Pods! A new fad is all the rage at local high schools, and it combines all the things that Gen-Z loves—namely, unnecessary electronic versions of normal items and doing something incredibly dangerous for Instagram likes. That’s right—the kids are vaping liquid detergent. Jackson Carr, a junior on the Fairfield … Continue reading Cool Kids Abandon Tide Pods to Start Vaping Detergent

The Memo Has Been Released!

By Zachary Quinones Often referred to as the ‘Nunes’ memo, this document has been released to the public as part of the investigation of potential abuses by the FBI, DOJ, and the Democratic National Committee. After careful analysis of the memo, one can conclude that members of the Democratic National Committee were trying to obtain … Continue reading The Memo Has Been Released!