‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Review: Not Enough Human Drama

By Marvin Irwin Pretentious. Intellectual. A Bore. All of the phrases I have just listed perfectly sum up the film “Godzilla vs. Kong.” Never before have we seen such a disconnect between what the audience craves and what a director gives to us.  My whole awful experience of viewing this movie began as I made … Continue reading ‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Review: Not Enough Human Drama

Ford Releases New Bronco, OJ Seeks Royalties For Every White One Sold

By Marvin Irwin If you love off-road capabilities, durability, double homicide, and American engineering, then Ford has just released the perfect car for you.  This past year, Ford announced that it was bringing back its iconic SUV, the Ford Bronco. Bringing back the Bronco makes a lot of sense for Ford.  The Bronco is one … Continue reading Ford Releases New Bronco, OJ Seeks Royalties For Every White One Sold

Student Tour Ambassador Hypes Up Fairfield’s Pokémon Go Scene

By Nathan Schmidt In the era of Covid-19, in-person tours of Fairfield campus are a thing of the past. But student tour ambassador Raymond Shampi ‘21 has found a new and revolutionary way to attract new prospective students online to Fairfield University: advertising the campus’ offerings in Pokémon Go. “There are so many more gyms … Continue reading Student Tour Ambassador Hypes Up Fairfield’s Pokémon Go Scene

Disney Announces New “Star Wars” Trilogy Directed by Tim Burton

By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium This week, Disney announced that director Tim Burton will be directing a remake of the original Star Wars trilogy. While fans remain rabid over this decision, many longtime Tim Burton fans are requesting numerous changes to better fit the roles such as Danny DeVito playing Darth Vader and Winona Ryder as … Continue reading Disney Announces New “Star Wars” Trilogy Directed by Tim Burton

Stagnation: BeefShake™ Edition

By Pete Peterson After a sweet pump at the gym, do you ever feel like there’s not enough time to get all of the essential nutrients in your system to maximize your gains?  Cooking food takes too long, those fancy protein shakes are too expensive, and you can only eat so many raw eggs before … Continue reading Stagnation: BeefShake™ Edition

Jim Carrey Joins Marvel Cinematic Universe; Set to replace multiple characters as “Marvel Carrey Universe”

By Frederick "Quickie" Mercurium Famed actor Jim Carrey was confirmed to be part of Marvel’s Phase Four initiative for its cinematic universe. Screenwriter Obladi Oblada talked in an exclusive interview with Stagnation concerning this action with staff writer Frederick Mercurium. The interview was held on Janurary 15th, the premiere of the new Disney+ show, Wandavision. … Continue reading Jim Carrey Joins Marvel Cinematic Universe; Set to replace multiple characters as “Marvel Carrey Universe”

Things To Do While The Credits Roll For “WandaVision”

By Marvin Irwin If you are one of the roughly 6.5 million Americans that is a slave to Disney’s revolving door of Marvel Studios content and watched “WandaVision,” then you have no doubt taken notice of the absurd amount of time in each episode allocated for the credits. Of the six episodes of “WandaVision” that … Continue reading Things To Do While The Credits Roll For “WandaVision”

Fairfield University Spends Vaccine Budget on New Vehicles for DPS

By Pete Peterson The town of Fairfield has always been considered a rough area.  The Gold Coast got its name from the Wild Wild West atmosphere, plagued with violence and crime.  Fairfield University is often considered the epicenter of danger, and the crime-fighters of the “Juarez of Connecticut” are finally punching back against the bad … Continue reading Fairfield University Spends Vaccine Budget on New Vehicles for DPS

COSO loses thousands after bad Super Bowl Bet; General Fee hike expected

By Pete Peterson If only Elon Musk was the President of COSO.  Over the weekend, as millions mourned yet another Tom Brady Super Bowl win, COSO was doing what it does best: be terrible with money.  The Federal Reserve of Fairfield University Clubs placed a hefty bet on the Super Bowl, wagering the budgets of … Continue reading COSO loses thousands after bad Super Bowl Bet; General Fee hike expected

Uplifting Concert Held in COVID Testing Site; Compromises Entire University

By Frederick "Quickie" Mercurium McAuliffe - The entire university is held under quarantine following a surprise concert from none other than the Chicago-based heavy metal band Demented. Surprisingly, the group gave a motivational rendition of “Down With The Sickness” renamed as “Down With The Symptoms.” It served a great deal of positivity for the mass … Continue reading Uplifting Concert Held in COVID Testing Site; Compromises Entire University