By Marvin Irwin This is what we in the biz call a good news bad news situation. Good news, the university has acquired COVID-19 vaccines for all students. Bad news, the university was responsible for handling the vaccines. This past weekend, Fairfield University successfully acquired a shipment of Russia’s Sputnik V COVID-19 vaccines. University officials, … Continue reading University’s Vaccine Rollout Takes Disastrous Turn
By Marvin Irwin In the midst of the uncertainty that clouds the country today, businesses across America are struggling and universities are not immune. Colleges are struggling to drive up applicants due to the lifestyle that college students must adhere to due to the COVID-19 pandemic. For some inexplicable reason, students and their parents are … Continue reading Lucas the Stag Launches OnlyFans Account
By Marvin Irwin “Stop the count!” If you have said this phrase at some point during the past week or so, it is unlikely that you are able to read or pick up on satire. Since you are reading Stagnation, it is unlikely that this phrase is something you would have said. After Prisoner-Elect Donald … Continue reading Stop the count! Students Attempt Presidential Method For Grading
By Marvin Irwin As I am sure you are aware of by now, in the COVID-infested wasteland with immaculately green grass that you know as Fairfield University, face coverings are required essentially any time you are outside of your living space. Whether or not this is followed is another story, but the rule implemented by … Continue reading Gaiter? I Hardly Know Her!: Why are neck gaiters the mask of choice for cool guys?
By Marvin Irwin It is a battle as old as time. One that the Society of Jesus has struggled to finish for almost 500 years. And that conundrum is how to make these kids keep it in their pants. But before the Jesuits could deal the final death blow to the plague that is premarital … Continue reading COVID-19 vs. 500 Years of Jesuit Tradition: What Will Stop Premarital Sex First?