By Marvin Irwin
If you are one of the roughly 6.5 million Americans that is a slave to Disney’s revolving door of Marvel Studios content and watched “WandaVision,” then you have no doubt taken notice of the absurd amount of time in each episode allocated for the credits. Of the six episodes of “WandaVision” that do not feature a post credits scene, the average amount of time to display the show’s credits is 7 minutes and 3 seconds. I did the math. I used a calculator and everything.
So what are you left to do for 7 minutes and 3 seconds? Your time is a valuable thing, Time is money as they say (though the cashier at the grocery store insisted that time is not a valid form of payment). So to ensure your time is not wasted, here is a list of different things that you can do while you wait for the next episode of “WandaVision” to begin.
- Make 7 Batches of Minute Rice
Everybody loves to have a little snack while they watch a show or movie. Well, the extensive credit sequence of “WandaVision” offers you ample time to prepare something to binge eat while you binge watch. Once the credits start, make your way over to the microwave and start to make the first of seven servings of rice you are about to eat. You can scarf down the batch you just cooked while the next serving is cooking, or you can wait until they are all done and then eat during the next episode. It’s up to you. This is where you can get fun with it!
- Listen to the Song “Hey Jude” by The Beatles In Its Entirety
A great way to pass the time during the credits in between episodes is to listen to this classic track from Ringo and the rest of the lads from Liverpool. Though the song is slightly longer than the average duration of credits, so save this technique for episode 6. While you listen, maybe try to make up parody lyrics that apply to “WandaVision.” Or maybe you could think about that movie “Yesterday” about a world where The Beatles didn’t exist and how the movie took an interesting premise and absolutely squandered it. There’s really no wrong way to listen to this phenomenal song.
(Author’s Note: Can you believe “Hey Jude” is 7 minutes and 11 seconds long? I could hardly believe it. I really didn’t remember it being that long of a song. “Bohemian Rhapsody” is only 5:55 and it feels way longer. If you had put a gun to my head last week and asked me “Which song is longer ‘Hey Jude’ or ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’?” my funeral would be going on right now and you’d be struggling to post bail.)
- Slip Into An Existential Crisis
Once the joy of seeing modern-day characters in classic sitcom scenarios wears off and after you’ve pondered what the last episode’s events mean for the broader MCU, feel free to slip into a mental spiral about the fabric of your existence.
[Spoiler for After Episode 5ish]
Seeing the citizens of Westview trapped without free will in the world of an all powerful being living out their repressed fantasies with reckless abandon is surely enough to make you contemplate the world around you.
I never said that these ideas would be fun.
- Watch Roughly 20% of the Next Episode of “WandaVision”
In my opinion probably the 2nd best option in the list, you could use the credit time to move on to the next episode. And by doing this you aren’t just watching the first 30 seconds or a minute earlier than you would have been. You would be finished with about a fifth of the whole episode. Some other chumps might still be watching the credits while you’re almost through the first act of the next episode. The future is now.
To learn more from the experts on wasting time, stay tuned to Stagnation.
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