Stop the count! Students Attempt Presidential Method For Grading

By Marvin Irwin  “Stop the count!”  If you have said this phrase at some point during the past week or so, it is unlikely that you are able to read or pick up on satire. Since you are reading Stagnation, it is unlikely that this phrase is something you would have said.  After Prisoner-Elect Donald … Continue reading Stop the count! Students Attempt Presidential Method For Grading

FEC Implements Presidential Tie-Breaker: Candidates to Read “Green Eggs and Ham,” First to Mess Up Loses

By Nathan Schmidt In the midst of the razor-thin margins of the 2020 presidential election, the Federal Election Commission has put into motion a new tie-breaking measure. Known as the “Seuss Test,” this measure consists of both candidates taking turns reading lines from Dr. Seuss’ classic children’s book Green Eggs and Ham, with the first … Continue reading FEC Implements Presidential Tie-Breaker: Candidates to Read “Green Eggs and Ham,” First to Mess Up Loses

Politics With Pete: Three Reasons Why I Could (Probably) Beat Trump in One-on-One

By Pete Peterson As the upcoming election looms over our heads, the talk of both candidates' mental and physical health has been at the forefront of many people’s minds.  After President Trump contracted the coronavirus, those talks increased exponentially.  His health obviously deteriorated from the virus, so I think it’s time I say what everyone … Continue reading Politics With Pete: Three Reasons Why I Could (Probably) Beat Trump in One-on-One

How to Be a Titan of Industry: A Man Who Hasn’t Lost Hundreds of Millions of Dollars Shares His Tips and Tricks

By Michael Wishart This past weekend, the New York Times released a groundbreaking report regarding President Donald Trump’s tax returns. What the report showed was shocking, with the “Home Alone 2: Lost In New York” star paying just $750 in federal income tax in 2016 and 2017. Not only that, but Trump has lost $315 … Continue reading How to Be a Titan of Industry: A Man Who Hasn’t Lost Hundreds of Millions of Dollars Shares His Tips and Tricks

DPS Announces “Shoot on Sight” Policy for Anyone Caught Breaking Covid Guidelines

By Pete Peterson “You've gotta ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?”- Dirty Harry - DPS officers After a recent outbreak of COVID-19 cases among students on Fairfield University’s campus that no one could have possibly predicted, the University has taken extreme measures to enforce the safety guidelines they put … Continue reading DPS Announces “Shoot on Sight” Policy for Anyone Caught Breaking Covid Guidelines