Ask Bruce the Goose

Hi Bruce,
I’m in an ethics class this semester and I’m a little confused over what I would do in a given situation. The ethical dilemma goes as follows: There is a runaway Trolley car that is about to hit five people who are tied to the train track. Next to me is a fat man, who would certainly block the trolley, although he would undoubtedly die. A small nudge and he’d fall right into the track below. No one will ever know. Should I push him?
Bruce, what would you do?
Lorrie DeLaurentis

Hey Lorrie,

Ah, the age-old ethical dilemma.

Michael on NBC’s The Good Place (this is a shameless plug. It is my favorite show. The university killed me and now I’m in the bad place and am trying to get to the good place) presents the perfect solution but alas, you do not have a large knife. Right?


So, here is my solution: Kill 5 or kill 1? It’s easy – PUSH THE FAT FUCKER!

Push the fat fucker.

No one will ever know it is you!

Why die when you can sacrifice the fat guy? It’s a Darwinian concept.

Enjoy your Ethics class.

All my best,

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