Fairfield Needs a Lettuce Club

By Trevor MacDonnell Lettuce?  What is it good for? Absolutely everything.  You can wear it as a hat. You can use it to wipe your ass.  You can use it lure out guinea pigs. You can even, surprise, eat it.  It is my opinion, as this is an opinion piece, that lettuce is worth its … Continue reading Fairfield Needs a Lettuce Club

Female “Chemistry Student” Burned as Witch

By Trevor MacDonnell Fairfield is a proud Jesuit campus and always has been. Our Christian values is what drives the heart and core of this school. We have our buildings named after saints, multiple masses held throughout the day, and even feasts on holy days. Dating back all the way to the 1400’s to the Puritans … Continue reading Female “Chemistry Student” Burned as Witch

FUSA Cancelling Campus Activities Budget in Favor of Monorail

By Trevor MacDonnell FUSA has taken to making budget cuts in lieu of excessive spending last semester. With programs running rampant with expenses, it seems on-campus activities will be the main victim of these cuts. An anonymous source in FUSA has stated that Pres Ball may be one of the larger events that is cut … Continue reading FUSA Cancelling Campus Activities Budget in Favor of Monorail

Two Students Have Sex on the Stag ;) DPS No-Likey

By Trevor MacDonnell Fairfield police are looking into an incident that occurred last night around 3:00 AM.  The incident involved two students, one male, approximately 5’11, clean shaven, average looking, and one female, brunette, about 5’5 in height, out of his league in looks.   The two students allegedly had relations 😉 in the middle … Continue reading Two Students Have Sex on the Stag 😉 DPS No-Likey

Pineapple Pizza: A Rant

By Trevor MacDonnell There are only seven deadly sins because God didn’t really think that one needed to be stated. For the love of God don’t put pineapple on your pizza. I mean really, what kind of sick person does that? It’s an abomination.   “I just really like the taste of sour pineapple with … Continue reading Pineapple Pizza: A Rant