By Trevor MacDonnell
Fairfield police are looking into an incident that occurred last night around 3:00 AM. The incident involved two students, one male, approximately 5’11, clean shaven, average looking, and one female, brunette, about 5’5 in height, out of his league in looks.
The two students allegedly had relations 😉 in the middle of campus, specifically on the stag statue. Lucas filed a report with DPS but didn’t get a good look at either of the students. It seems, as of now, this was a one-time event, although whether the male will call in the morning is currently unknown.
In order to prevent future incidents of stags being up openly on campus, DPS is increasing patrol routes in the area and is considering installation of security cameras (strictly for defensive manners).
If you or anyone you know has knowledge of the incident, please contact us or Lucas through the Stagnation website. Only you can prevent Bambi-Style intercourse.