Tuesday, 9/25
2:25 p.m.—A student reported to DPS that his cocaine delivery was stolen from the mailroom. He reports that after receiving an email about his package and bringing his package slip to the mailroom, the mailroom personnel denied having received his delivery. All mailroom personnel are currently being questioned. Anyone with information is encouraged to contact DPS so they can get this man his cocaine.
Friday, 9/28
8:31 p.m.—While taking a photo with President Nemec at the 15th Annual Presidential Ball, a student took two juuls out of his pocket and positioned them in his mouth like walrus tusks, and then took out two more and asked Nemec to do the same. The student was cheered and then referred to student conduct.
10:56 p.m.—A student at Pres Ball climbed the tent pole and was tackled by DPS. The student then tried to take the DPS officer’s gun away by tickling his armpit, weird.
Saturday, 9/29
12:18 a.m.—DPS reported a record low number of student-transports after Pres Ball and the first transport of Lucas the Stag. #Pray4Lucas #WeAreAllLucas
Stagnation 