FUSA Cancelling Campus Activities Budget in Favor of Monorail

By Trevor MacDonnell

FUSA has taken to making budget cuts in lieu of excessive spending last semester. With programs running rampant with expenses, it seems on-campus activities will be the main victim of these cuts.

An anonymous source in FUSA has stated that Pres Ball may be one of the larger events that is cut completely from budget.  With the Annual Dogwood Dance being a more popular and well received event, this comes to no surprise.  Pres Ball is hardly attended by upperclassmen and has been a drunken mess for DPS for those who choose to attend.

The extra funds from cutting Pres Ball will most likely go towards finishing on-campus construction.  Funds will be spread out through a multitude of projects such as athletic field renovations and maintenance to the stag statue, but supposedly the bulk of the revenue will be put into a new project.

Pres Ball, being as large as it is and costing well over any other event, the university has decided to take on a bold and ambitious project.

As the campus grows in size, many students have expressed their distaste with traveling from one end of the campus to the other.  One Faber student was quoted saying, “It’s like being in Canada living here, we’re all isolated and alone in this desolate wasteland, except no one’s overly polite.”

Well weary traveler, your prayers have been answered.  Rather than invest in better food or lowering tuition fees, the university has decided to add on a monorail system to campus after a survey revealed it was the most desirable addition to the campus.

The monorail will be painted white and red, our university’s colors, and run from Jogues to Faber, making stops between at the stag statue, the Tully, Bannow, Dolan, and the Quickcenter.

At this time the monorail will not be stopping at the townhouses or the Levee, as there are not enough funds to expand the system all the way around campus. In fact, the monorail itself, due to a limited budget, is rumored to be a roller coaster from the shut down amusement park Santa’s Village in Jefferson, NH.  The bright side of this is that the Rudolph figurine on the front of the coaster will be painted to resemble Lucas the stag.

The university will also be saving money on the paint job as the majority is already painted red and white in festive spirits.  For now the Dogwood Dance is still scheduled to go on with no reduced budget, but if the initial startup is successful, we may see this event cut as well in order to expand the track.  Expansions would be to further parts of campus and possibly into town, sharing the already existing metro line, and potentially replacing the stag bus.

It seems as time goes on, Fairfield University wants to stay modernized to avoid falling behind other universities (Sacred Heart), and to attract more potential students.  With the sacrifice of one event, the university is able to assist all students in the strenuous task of walking across campus year-round.

 

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