Cool Kids Abandon Tide Pods to Start Vaping Detergent

By Ellie Conklin

Move over, Tide Pods! A new fad is all the rage at local high schools, and it combines all the things that Gen-Z loves—namely, unnecessary electronic versions of normal items and doing something incredibly dangerous for Instagram likes. That’s right—the kids are vaping liquid detergent.

Jackson Carr, a junior on the Fairfield High School football team and one of the pioneers of this new fad, said he got the idea after he needed to show ID to buy detergent pods. “My new fake hasn’t come in yet, so I was kinda at a loss,” Carr tells us. “I needed to tweak on something, ja feel?” Carr’s girlfriend, Brianne Kellaigh Rylee O’Connor, is ecstatic over the new trend. She tells us, “I just got this new vape from my older brother, and it has a fidget spinner on the end of it. I’m so excited to use it.” Sources tell us only four students have been hospitalized for vaping the detergent thus far.

For school officials, the latest concern is that this trend will spread to other schools. However, it seems as though it will not be on Fairfield University’s campus any time soon. When asked whether or not he would be interested in the D-vape, as it has been affectionately named by kids like Carr and O’Connor, senior Jack Dennison scoffed. “My God, kids these days,” he laughs, “why can’t they stick to safer alternatives? They can learn from my generation. A spoonful of cinnamon down their throats would satisfy all their strange urges.”

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