Op-Ed: Seeing Red; Why on Earth Is the Last COVID-19 Danger Level Purple?

By Mike Wishart This past weekend, after seeing a troubling and sudden rise in COVID-19 cases on campus, the University announced that we would be moving to Status Level Orange. This means that the RecPlex has closed, posing a serious threat to the #gains of the campus community. The Tully is now entirely grab-and- go, … Continue reading Op-Ed: Seeing Red; Why on Earth Is the Last COVID-19 Danger Level Purple?

Fairfield’s Sodexo Webpage on Sustainability Broken Since Start of Semester

By Nathan Schmidt Since classes began more than two weeks ago, the campus website for Fairfield Dining Services has included a link to a nonexistent page on sustainability. The link is hidden in the ‘Explore’ tab, underneath ‘Dining Near Me’ and ‘My Meal Plan,’ both of which students have very little business opening this semester. … Continue reading Fairfield’s Sodexo Webpage on Sustainability Broken Since Start of Semester

Coronacation: Fairfield Opens Zoom Meeting for All Students, Plays Tully Music

By Nathan Schmidt This week, Fairfield officials announced the creation of a new Zoom meeting entitled “Tully VR,” where students can mingle and dine together just like they would on campus. The Zoom meeting is set to run 24/7 indefinitely, and students may spend as long as they want logged in, provided that they are … Continue reading Coronacation: Fairfield Opens Zoom Meeting for All Students, Plays Tully Music

Coronacation: Tully Still Contains Food From Before Spring Break

By Nathan Schmidt Fairfield University campus has become a ghost town since the COVID-19 pandemic caused the administration to move all classes online till the end of March. But in the Tully this week, the picture was even grimmer, as Stagnation reporters slowly realized that all of the food on display had been in storage … Continue reading Coronacation: Tully Still Contains Food From Before Spring Break

Tully Steps Up Water Conservation Efforts By Not Even Pretending to Wash Dishes

By Mike Wishart With the cries for increased conservation efforts becoming so loud that business leaders can no longer pretend they can’t hear them, many businesses and institutions are begrudgingly doing the bare minimum to reduce their impact on the environment. Fairfield University is proud to call itself one such institution, and campus administration has … Continue reading Tully Steps Up Water Conservation Efforts By Not Even Pretending to Wash Dishes

Fairfield @ Night Announces New Parkour Challenge Around Campus 

By Rosemary Harper F@N has announced a new and exciting initiative in which students will race against the clock and each other in their new Active Nites initiative. The planned course takes competitors through the Barone Campus Center starting at the Tully stairs and ending in the Lower Level BCC, with the event planned for … Continue reading Fairfield @ Night Announces New Parkour Challenge Around Campus 

Fairfield University Cancels One-Episode Student Show

By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium The newest show on the Fairfield University streaming service, "The Stag Show with Gregory Luthers," was immediately canceled after airing for 10 minutes. Luthers was brought into the Dean’s office to discuss his status as a Fairfield student as parents of freshmen students demand for his expulsion. Luthers denied any involvement … Continue reading Fairfield University Cancels One-Episode Student Show

Op-Ed: I’m Sorry, But That Cupcake Is Not 60 Calories

By Nathan Schmidt Fairfield University, like all Jesuit universities, bears a duty for truth and clarity. And that duty extends into the Tully. It’s bad enough to be given bright green steamed broccoli that turns out to be frozen and thawed nearly to mush. There is absolutely no excuse for labeling a Samoa cupcake as … Continue reading Op-Ed: I’m Sorry, But That Cupcake Is Not 60 Calories

Fairfield-Themed Tully Food Infested by Stag Beetles

By Nathan Schmidt This week, the Tully dining hall was crawling with excitement as its Fairfield Signature Dinner came infested with stag beetles. The fearsome, pronged insects were found scuttling between the Salisbury steaks, wrestling over the roasted veggie platter, and posing for photos by the apple pie. But according to university officials, this terrifying … Continue reading Fairfield-Themed Tully Food Infested by Stag Beetles

Tuition Now Includes Human Blood

By Nathan Schmidt This spring, Fairfield University has announced a new financial initiative entitled “Red Stag,” where students are required to pay a large volume of human blood to the school as part of their tuition. The initiative, inspired by mounting deficits of spiritual suffering at the university, will allow Fairfield students to understand the … Continue reading Tuition Now Includes Human Blood