By Nathan Schmidt
Since classes began more than two weeks ago, the campus website for Fairfield Dining Services has included a link to a nonexistent page on sustainability. The link is hidden in the ‘Explore’ tab, underneath ‘Dining Near Me’ and ‘My Meal Plan,’ both of which students have very little business opening this semester.
“There’s just no freaking point,” said Tully employee June Labersberg, whom Stagnation reporters interviewed while she was hauling cardboard boxes filled with large plastic bags of smaller plastic pouches for the day’s meal packaging. “Don’t make it a struggle, is what I say. Give up on the environment while you still have the choice. I’m sure you kids have noticed that the best years of your life are already over.”
This absolute dereliction of environmental protection is in keeping with the Jesuit tradition at Fairfield, where no meaningful effort has been made to promote sustainability since the last big initiative in 2011. On a campus that still uses gas to generate its own electricity, does not have motion-detecting lights in most buildings, and keeps televisions in common areas running during the winter break, Sodexo dropping the ball on sustainability is widely considered to be true to Fairfield’s ideal form.
First year student Jeremiah Pangstron ‘24 remarked to Stagnation reporters over Zoom, “I’ve got room in my trunk if you know anyone who’s not coming to party on the beach this weekend. I can just pick up all the plastic stuff and drop it straight into the Long Island Sound. That’s freedom of opportunity, baby!”
For archival purposes, the URL to the broken webpage has been copied here. Any readers who find this article in the future are invited to see whether Fairfield Dining Services has eradicated any mention of sustainability altogether.