Op-Ed: I’m Sorry, But That Cupcake Is Not 60 Calories

By Nathan Schmidt

Fairfield University, like all Jesuit universities, bears a duty for truth and clarity. And that duty extends into the Tully. It’s bad enough to be given bright green steamed broccoli that turns out to be frozen and thawed nearly to mush. There is absolutely no excuse for labeling a Samoa cupcake as containing the same amount of calories as about seven almonds.

Imagine you’re talking to me face-to-face. Look into my eyes. And tell me, truthfully, that you think this heavily frosted cupcake contains only 60 calories. Do you realize that inside, some of the cake has been replaced with even more high-fat high-sugar filling? Do you suppose you could eat five of these little sugar bombs and it would be 300 calories, like a sandwich? Do you think you can get away with this just by listing “wheat” twice in the allergens? You would have to be completely devoid of shame and accountability to pass these fattening desserts as the healthier option.

And that brings me to my main point: The real problem here isn’t just the cupcakes. The problem is the willingness of the Tully’s managers, and humanity at large, to lie about things we can clearly see as false. It is part of an insidious worldwide degradation of truth, perpetrated by the far right and catalyzed by the echo chambers of social media. These cupcakes, like the mysterious death of Jeffrey Epstein, are an example of the mendacity that has suffused today’s world. If you can’t trust that calorie label, what calorie labels are trustworthy? If you can’t trust a given news article, who’s to say that the conspiracy theorists are wrong? The Tully has become part of the biggest problem facing our generation.

Additionally, I noticed that the double chocolate cookies were labeled as containing 130 calories, until it dropped to 80, until today when it rose to 180. This type of gaslighting is the foundation of psychological abuse and has no place in our university.

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