Fairfield’s Rising Prices Linked to Occult Conspiracy

By Blume  “Blame it on inflation.” This is what greeted us as we managed to find a professor who was willing to talk to us about rising prices at Fairfield University. Past attempts at talking to the financial offices were met with fierce resistance, administrators treating us as if we had the plague and only … Continue reading Fairfield’s Rising Prices Linked to Occult Conspiracy

Tuition Now Includes Human Blood

By Nathan Schmidt This spring, Fairfield University has announced a new financial initiative entitled “Red Stag,” where students are required to pay a large volume of human blood to the school as part of their tuition. The initiative, inspired by mounting deficits of spiritual suffering at the university, will allow Fairfield students to understand the … Continue reading Tuition Now Includes Human Blood