By Rosemary Harper
This Monday marked the beginning of construction for Fairfield U’s new Convocation Center and the demolition of our beloved airplane hangar, formerly known as Alumni Hall. The hyped up deconstruction of the old facility has left students less than excited to say the least, as many members of the Fairfield community were expecting an explosion-like demolition that would be over in a little under a minute. Three first year students currently taking Introduction to Film Studies decided to act on their disappointment “for the well-being of student morale.”
According to sources, the first years were bored while watching the Alumni Hall demolition livestream and wanted to jazz it up. In an attempt to make sense of their choice to use an explosive device on campus, Stagnation reached out and was able to secure an interview with Matt Nomad ‘24: “We were watching the Martian and this German dude made a bomb out of liquid oxygen and sugar, so we got some and we finished takin’ down the airplane hangar.” Nomad went on to discuss how a pyrotechnic explosion, even a small one, would really cheer people up during this stressful time of final exams and projects.
At the time of publication, it has not been determined what will happen to the students beyond being put on several watch lists. However because the construction of the new “ARENA 100” has been moved ahead of schedule, there have been talks of letting it slide and ensuring that the liquid oxygen is kept in a more secure cabinet in the future.