By Pete Peterson Fairfield, CT- After a contentious debate between students, athletes, the University, and God, Fairfield University has announced that it will in fact have a football season this year. With the MAAC canceling all sports due to the liberal Coronavirus hoax, the Stags will be heading ‘down under’ (the Mason-Dixon line) this season … Continue reading Fairfield University Announces It Will Join the SEC for the 2020-2021 Football Season
Tag: covid-19
Fairfield’s Sodexo Webpage on Sustainability Broken Since Start of Semester
By Nathan Schmidt Since classes began more than two weeks ago, the campus website for Fairfield Dining Services has included a link to a nonexistent page on sustainability. The link is hidden in the ‘Explore’ tab, underneath ‘Dining Near Me’ and ‘My Meal Plan,’ both of which students have very little business opening this semester. … Continue reading Fairfield’s Sodexo Webpage on Sustainability Broken Since Start of Semester
Fairfield University Gets Into USA Today
By Nathan Schmidt After the rocky start to the semester, Fairfield University has scored a major publicity win: We have been included in a USA Today article! The article, which went online yesterday, contained a genuinely thoughtful contribution from campus writers about the student body’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic. USA Today has accordingly given … Continue reading Fairfield University Gets Into USA Today
With Start of Classes, “Coronacation” Paused For Three Weeks
By Nathan Schmidt Today, the academic year 2020-2021 has commenced, and with it, the phenomenon of online learning and offline partying known as “coronacation” has been halted for the next three weeks. The “Stags Come Home” initiative, championed by Fairfield officials, brought students back onto campus and into classrooms in the midst of the COVID-19 … Continue reading With Start of Classes, “Coronacation” Paused For Three Weeks
Coronacation: Fairfield Opens Zoom Meeting for All Students, Plays Tully Music
By Nathan Schmidt This week, Fairfield officials announced the creation of a new Zoom meeting entitled “Tully VR,” where students can mingle and dine together just like they would on campus. The Zoom meeting is set to run 24/7 indefinitely, and students may spend as long as they want logged in, provided that they are … Continue reading Coronacation: Fairfield Opens Zoom Meeting for All Students, Plays Tully Music
Coronacation: Quack Doctor Mistakes Vaccine for COVID-19 as Margarita Mix
By Frederick "Quickie" Mercurium As medical officials worked tirelessly, they were able to finally manufacture what everyone was waiting for: a vaccine for COVID-19. All were rejoicing at the fact that their progress of 4 months had finally paid off. As later reported, the officials held a small celebration for their achievement, only to discover … Continue reading Coronacation: Quack Doctor Mistakes Vaccine for COVID-19 as Margarita Mix
Coronacation: Examen Statue Has Moved Apart For Social Distancing
By Nathan Schmidt This week, in keeping with the new social distancing guidelines for the COVID-19 pandemic, the figures of the Examen statue on campus have moved six feet apart from each other. The twin statue, depicting two images of St. Ignatius facing each other at close distance, has stood in front of the Egan … Continue reading Coronacation: Examen Statue Has Moved Apart For Social Distancing
Coronacation: Promised Land Turns Out to University Life; Spirits Demand Refund on Life
By Freddie “Quickie” Mercurium During campus quarantine, not much activity can be seen. However, the library has been the center of a majority of paranormal activity within university premises. From the Connecticut Supernatural Department, Private Ludwig Von Killinger gave this statement: "The library is haunted as hell. Like, Christ on a cross, there’s a ton … Continue reading Coronacation: Promised Land Turns Out to University Life; Spirits Demand Refund on Life
Coronacation: Students Mourn Missed Classes in Donnarumma Hall
By Nathan Schmidt With all classes moved online for the spring, the pangs of nostalgia for campus life have already set in for many students. And nowhere on campus is a more painful point of longing than the beloved Donnarumma Hall, which in hindsight is the most precious and home-like building in the university. Students … Continue reading Coronacation: Students Mourn Missed Classes in Donnarumma Hall
Coronacation: Turkeys Rejoice As They Successfully Conquer Campus Without Opposition
By Rosemary Harper Alas, the day we have feared for so many months. Due to the statewide lockdown and subsequent school closure, the turkeys — those little shits that torment us on a daily basis — have taken over Fairfield University. And they did it with ease. Once the week after spring break began, they … Continue reading Coronacation: Turkeys Rejoice As They Successfully Conquer Campus Without Opposition
Stagnation 