By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium
As medical officials worked tirelessly, they were able to finally manufacture what everyone was waiting for: a vaccine for COVID-19. All were rejoicing at the fact that their progress of 4 months had finally paid off. As later reported, the officials held a small celebration for their achievement, only to discover that one Professor Arnold Getsby had used the vaccine for the refreshments, believing it to be a sort of margarita mix.
“I can’t believe someone like him threw our progress down the drain,” stated Nurse Tiffany Hoodenany, “I mean, isn’t he an esteemed professor?”
Representatives from the White House promptly detained Getsby under the impression he was a foreign spy attempting to buy his homeland time for their own vaccine. However, further interviews showed that Getsby was really a big klutz when it came to his field of study.
“I really didn’t know what I was whipping up for the party,” stated Getsby, “I saw the container and thought, ‘I can make a killer Slick Epstein margarita for everyone.’ I thought everyone would love it!”
Participants begrudgingly went back to work on a new vaccine, one that didn’t look like a refreshing beverage.
Stagnation 