Fairfield University Announces It Will Join the SEC for the 2020-2021 Football Season

By Pete Peterson Fairfield, CT- After a contentious debate between students, athletes, the University, and God, Fairfield University has announced that it will in fact have a football season this year.  With the MAAC canceling all sports due to the liberal Coronavirus hoax, the Stags will be heading ‘down under’ (the Mason-Dixon line) this season … Continue reading Fairfield University Announces It Will Join the SEC for the 2020-2021 Football Season

Fairfield University President Declares November “Shitty Beard Month”

By Alexis Shepard In the customary email blast to the Fairfield students, President Mark Nemec wished a Happy Thanksgiving and a happy break to one and all. But the extra almost postscript message that concluded the email was most unexpected to the journalists out there. He declared that November would unofficially be known as “Shitty … Continue reading Fairfield University President Declares November “Shitty Beard Month”

Barnyard Manor Grand Opening and Christening Ruined by Celebratory Champagne Breaking

By Alexis Shepard Barnyard Manor had its grand opening on the 11th, with Manor members, faculty, FUSA, other students, and the token Jesuit priest in attendance. The crowd was awkwardly arranged in one of the driveways, and not in a packed group, but something closer to a Nike swoosh as most of the attendance tried … Continue reading Barnyard Manor Grand Opening and Christening Ruined by Celebratory Champagne Breaking