By Freddie “Quickie” Mercurium A decision by the FUSA Senate called for Fairfield University to better brand itself as an inclusive university by appealing to the Anime Club. Putting an art group to the task, they were instructed to making anime pieces centered on-campus life. Unfortunately, some students in the group decided to take extra … Continue reading Fairfield University Attempts Anime Brand; Accidentally Creates Hentai
Category: Campus Life
Coronacation: Quack Doctor Mistakes Vaccine for COVID-19 as Margarita Mix
By Frederick "Quickie" Mercurium As medical officials worked tirelessly, they were able to finally manufacture what everyone was waiting for: a vaccine for COVID-19. All were rejoicing at the fact that their progress of 4 months had finally paid off. As later reported, the officials held a small celebration for their achievement, only to discover … Continue reading Coronacation: Quack Doctor Mistakes Vaccine for COVID-19 as Margarita Mix
Coronacation: Examen Statue Has Moved Apart For Social Distancing
By Nathan Schmidt This week, in keeping with the new social distancing guidelines for the COVID-19 pandemic, the figures of the Examen statue on campus have moved six feet apart from each other. The twin statue, depicting two images of St. Ignatius facing each other at close distance, has stood in front of the Egan … Continue reading Coronacation: Examen Statue Has Moved Apart For Social Distancing
Coronacation: Promised Land Turns Out to University Life; Spirits Demand Refund on Life
By Freddie “Quickie” Mercurium During campus quarantine, not much activity can be seen. However, the library has been the center of a majority of paranormal activity within university premises. From the Connecticut Supernatural Department, Private Ludwig Von Killinger gave this statement: "The library is haunted as hell. Like, Christ on a cross, there’s a ton … Continue reading Coronacation: Promised Land Turns Out to University Life; Spirits Demand Refund on Life
Coronacation: Students Mourn Missed Classes in Donnarumma Hall
By Nathan Schmidt With all classes moved online for the spring, the pangs of nostalgia for campus life have already set in for many students. And nowhere on campus is a more painful point of longing than the beloved Donnarumma Hall, which in hindsight is the most precious and home-like building in the university. Students … Continue reading Coronacation: Students Mourn Missed Classes in Donnarumma Hall
Coronacation: Turkeys Rejoice As They Successfully Conquer Campus Without Opposition
By Rosemary Harper Alas, the day we have feared for so many months. Due to the statewide lockdown and subsequent school closure, the turkeys — those little shits that torment us on a daily basis — have taken over Fairfield University. And they did it with ease. Once the week after spring break began, they … Continue reading Coronacation: Turkeys Rejoice As They Successfully Conquer Campus Without Opposition
Coronacation: Quarantine Donations Mixed Up With Voting Ballots; Salvation Army Confused
By Freddie “Quickie” Mercurium BARONE CAMPUS CENTER - University officials are left dumbfounded by the school's recent effort to aid the quarantine efforts. Their recipient, the Epstein Humanitarian Group, claimed that they had no need for canned goods and surgical masks. Upon investigating the group’s suggestion, it was discovered that the students’ efforts were mixed … Continue reading Coronacation: Quarantine Donations Mixed Up With Voting Ballots; Salvation Army Confused
Coronacation: Campus-Wide Hide and Seek Gone Too Far
By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium Fairfield University reported that the “Campus Hide & Seek” FYE Thrive Event created a problem in attendance in classes. DPS has noticed that they cannot locate any students or staff on the campus. Unfortunately, as much as the University notifies all that the event was only meant to last for a … Continue reading Coronacation: Campus-Wide Hide and Seek Gone Too Far
Coronacation: Students Celebrate Semester-Long Spring Break
By Nathan Schmidt The term “coronacation” is generally reserved for the phenomenon of people using reduced prices during the pandemic to go traveling. But no better portmanteau of two words could describe the delightful situation now upon many Fairfield University students — who, in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic and the ensuing closing, have found … Continue reading Coronacation: Students Celebrate Semester-Long Spring Break
Coronacation: Tully Still Contains Food From Before Spring Break
By Nathan Schmidt Fairfield University campus has become a ghost town since the COVID-19 pandemic caused the administration to move all classes online till the end of March. But in the Tully this week, the picture was even grimmer, as Stagnation reporters slowly realized that all of the food on display had been in storage … Continue reading Coronacation: Tully Still Contains Food From Before Spring Break
Stagnation 