By Frederick "Quickie" Mercurium MEDIA CENTER - Reagen Ruskie ‘23 has canceled all plans for the StagsTV Kids block following backlashes against the new direction taken by the show. “We did segments about how cool our dorms looked,” complained Bianca Steppenoutte ‘19, “And now we’re just doing some weird Wiggles crap? Trash.” Potential programs such … Continue reading StagsTV Announces New Kids Program; Plans Quickly Cancelled
Author: fairfieldstagnation
FUSA Constitution Rewritten to Ban “Un-Stag-Like” Speech
By Nathan Schmidt This week, an anonymous Stagnation reporter uncovered provisions in the new FUSA Constitution to ban what it describes as “un-Stag-like” speech. The constitutional document, which was rewritten this semester and ratified last month, bans any speech, writing or body language on campus that contradicts “Stag spirit, Jesuit values, or good ideas from … Continue reading FUSA Constitution Rewritten to Ban “Un-Stag-Like” Speech
“Fairfield In Focus” Gives Incoming First Years A Taste of Zoom
By Nathan Schmidt Last week, Fairfield University clubs participated in the second of the semester’s two Fairfield In Focus events — not on campus, of course, but over Zoom. The online-only quarantine-safe events, which were designed to introduce incoming first year students to the many exciting student-run groups at the university, successfully conveyed everything they … Continue reading “Fairfield In Focus” Gives Incoming First Years A Taste of Zoom
‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Review: Not Enough Human Drama
By Marvin Irwin Pretentious. Intellectual. A Bore. All of the phrases I have just listed perfectly sum up the film “Godzilla vs. Kong.” Never before have we seen such a disconnect between what the audience craves and what a director gives to us. My whole awful experience of viewing this movie began as I made … Continue reading ‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Review: Not Enough Human Drama
Fairfield Priest Demands to Know What ‘Updog’ Is
By Nathan Schmidt Students were unsettled this week when Jesuit priest Rube Marky was spotted wandering campus and asking students what ‘Updog’ is. The priest, known affectionately to the student body as Father “Total” Rube, went from Jogues to Faber asking this same question over and over again: What exactly is this ‘Updog’ everyone is … Continue reading Fairfield Priest Demands to Know What ‘Updog’ Is
Class of 2021 Petitioning for Dunkin Gift Cards
By Rosemary Harper A new, highly popular petition has been flying around Fairfield campus. What is this hot new movement, you may ask? It can be summed up in two words: Dunkin Donuts. Among recent news of graduation plans for the class of 2021, there have been mixed opinions surrounding how the ceremony (or ceremonies … Continue reading Class of 2021 Petitioning for Dunkin Gift Cards
Ford Releases New Bronco, OJ Seeks Royalties For Every White One Sold
By Marvin Irwin If you love off-road capabilities, durability, double homicide, and American engineering, then Ford has just released the perfect car for you. This past year, Ford announced that it was bringing back its iconic SUV, the Ford Bronco. Bringing back the Bronco makes a lot of sense for Ford. The Bronco is one … Continue reading Ford Releases New Bronco, OJ Seeks Royalties For Every White One Sold
Rep. Matt Gaetz to Head Tours for Prospective Out of State Students
By Pete Peterson The always reasonable Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida had a fantastic week: everyone found out he can get laid, he loves to travel, and he absolutely killed his Tucker Carlson interview. With his draft stock skyrocketing, people are guessing what he’ll do next. Some speculative options included running for President in 2024, … Continue reading Rep. Matt Gaetz to Head Tours for Prospective Out of State Students
Philosophy and English Combined Under New Pataphysics Course
By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium After much confusion and discord between Philosophy and English faculty, both departments now have a new course that covers common ground: pataphysics. “I have to admit, I was just joking around when I suggested that,” said Professor Lazlo Gorman, a guest professor from Sacred Heart University, “I didn’t think you stag-smartasses … Continue reading Philosophy and English Combined Under New Pataphysics Course
Student Tour Ambassador Hypes Up Fairfield’s Pokémon Go Scene
By Nathan Schmidt In the era of Covid-19, in-person tours of Fairfield campus are a thing of the past. But student tour ambassador Raymond Shampi ‘21 has found a new and revolutionary way to attract new prospective students online to Fairfield University: advertising the campus’ offerings in Pokémon Go. “There are so many more gyms … Continue reading Student Tour Ambassador Hypes Up Fairfield’s Pokémon Go Scene
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