By Nathan Schmidt The term “coronacation” is generally reserved for the phenomenon of people using reduced prices during the pandemic to go traveling. But no better portmanteau of two words could describe the delightful situation now upon many Fairfield University students — who, in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic and the ensuing closing, have found … Continue reading Coronacation: Students Celebrate Semester-Long Spring Break
Tag: Nathan Schmidt
Coronacation: Tully Still Contains Food From Before Spring Break
By Nathan Schmidt Fairfield University campus has become a ghost town since the COVID-19 pandemic caused the administration to move all classes online till the end of March. But in the Tully this week, the picture was even grimmer, as Stagnation reporters slowly realized that all of the food on display had been in storage … Continue reading Coronacation: Tully Still Contains Food From Before Spring Break
Coronacation: Professors Rejoice As Online Classes Let Them Finally Teach In Bathrobes
By Nathan Schmidt This week, even as deathly quiet settled over Fairfield University campus, the faculty celebrated the best part of all-online classes: the ability to teach from their homes while wearing bathrobes. The online classes, which come as part of a nationwide effort of social distancing in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic, have … Continue reading Coronacation: Professors Rejoice As Online Classes Let Them Finally Teach In Bathrobes
Swim Team Disqualified After Floaties Found in Locker Rooms
By Nathan Schmidt Waves were made this week in campus athletics when officials discovered a cache of performance-enhancing water wings in the RecPlex men’s locker room. The illicit boosters were quickly traced to every member of the Fairfield University men’s swimming and diving roster. A subsequent investigation revealed that the swimmers had been using the … Continue reading Swim Team Disqualified After Floaties Found in Locker Rooms
“Talking Statue” of Pope Francis Removed After Landmark #MeToo Verdict
By Nathan Schmidt The time has come for students to rejoice! For more than a year, the Barone Campus Center has stood in the shadow of the ominous marble statue of Pope Francis, an icon of the Talking Statue project and a terror to students across the university. But this week, just one day after … Continue reading “Talking Statue” of Pope Francis Removed After Landmark #MeToo Verdict
Fairfield University Changes Motto to “Live Young, Live Fast”
By Nathan Schmidt Campus administration announced this week that the new motto of Fairfield University will be Vive Iuvenis, Vive Cito, or “Live Young, Live Fast.” This announcement heralds the departure from the 1997 motto of Per Fidem ad Plenam Veritatem, which translates to “Through Faith to the Fullness of Truth.” Sources claimed that the … Continue reading Fairfield University Changes Motto to “Live Young, Live Fast”
Op-Ed: I’m Sorry, But That Cupcake Is Not 60 Calories
By Nathan Schmidt Fairfield University, like all Jesuit universities, bears a duty for truth and clarity. And that duty extends into the Tully. It’s bad enough to be given bright green steamed broccoli that turns out to be frozen and thawed nearly to mush. There is absolutely no excuse for labeling a Samoa cupcake as … Continue reading Op-Ed: I’m Sorry, But That Cupcake Is Not 60 Calories
FUSA Senate Overthrown by Dictatorship
By Nathan Schmidt The last FUSA Senate meeting, held just a week ago, may well go down as the last FUSA Senate meeting. What began as an ordinary evening of procedure and protocol ended in fire and zealotry, as the entire student government body was disbanded in favor of a one-man dictatorship. Nicholas Kyle Copenhagen … Continue reading FUSA Senate Overthrown by Dictatorship
Fairfield-Themed Tully Food Infested by Stag Beetles
By Nathan Schmidt This week, the Tully dining hall was crawling with excitement as its Fairfield Signature Dinner came infested with stag beetles. The fearsome, pronged insects were found scuttling between the Salisbury steaks, wrestling over the roasted veggie platter, and posing for photos by the apple pie. But according to university officials, this terrifying … Continue reading Fairfield-Themed Tully Food Infested by Stag Beetles
Fake Levee Decoy Built to Keep the Prep Kids Away
By Nathan Schmidt This spring, Fairfield University has announced plans to “reclaim the campus” by replacing the Levee snack bar with a fake decoy for Fairfield Prep students. The small building, located across Loyola Drive from the RecPlex, is traditionally ignored by the student body of Fairfield because of its overwhelmingly teenage clientele. And for … Continue reading Fake Levee Decoy Built to Keep the Prep Kids Away
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