The Levee Receives 3-Star Michelin Review from Drunk First Year

By Pete Peterson Move over Nobu, there’s a new spot in town.  The Levee, best known for its wildly inefficient service, sloppy public makeouts between students, and food that tastes best after more than a few beers has recently been anointed with a new title: Fairfield’s first 3-star Michelin restaurant.  The announcement was made by … Continue reading The Levee Receives 3-Star Michelin Review from Drunk First Year

Fairfield Prep Student Discovers Terrifying Secret at Turkey Burial Ground

By Frederick "Quickie" Mercurium THE LEVEE - Fairfield Prep student Josiah “Joey” Joseph made a startling discovery upon walking around the back of the Levy. An undead turkey had been limping around searching for any worms, only finding maggots that had dropped off its own body. “I was only looking for the bathroom,” said Joseph, … Continue reading Fairfield Prep Student Discovers Terrifying Secret at Turkey Burial Ground

Fake Levee Decoy Built to Keep the Prep Kids Away

By Nathan Schmidt This spring, Fairfield University has announced plans to “reclaim the campus” by replacing the Levee snack bar with a fake decoy for Fairfield Prep students. The small building, located across Loyola Drive from the RecPlex, is traditionally ignored by the student body of Fairfield because of its overwhelmingly teenage clientele. And for … Continue reading Fake Levee Decoy Built to Keep the Prep Kids Away

Inkwell Open Mic at Levee Derailed by Prep Student Attack

By Nathan Schmidt Last Friday, Fairfield’s creative writing magazine The Inkwell attempted to hold an open mic night at the Levee, only for it to be derailed by a swarm of Fairfield Prep students. The much-hyped event was expected to bring together students from The Inkwell and Performing for Change in a showcase of Fairfield’s … Continue reading Inkwell Open Mic at Levee Derailed by Prep Student Attack

Pizzagate Redux: DPS Operation Busts Levee for Operating as Brothel

By Pete Peterson It turns out pizza wasn’t the only thing people were paying for at the Levee.  On Saturday night, DPS and FBI raided the pizza place around 12:23am and took seven people into custody for operating a brothel.  Only a few major injuries were reported. Those taken into custody include two owners/operators, the … Continue reading Pizzagate Redux: DPS Operation Busts Levee for Operating as Brothel