By Mike Wishart You may have seen a bit more of your neighbors than you planned in the past few days. That’s likely because the university has updated its privacy policy, and as a result all bathroom stalls, shower/window curtains, and doors on campus have been removed. In addition, surveillance cameras have been placed in … Continue reading University Has Updated Its Privacy Policy, Bathroom Stalls and Curtains Removed
Category: Politics
University Study Finds That “It Do Be Like That Sometimes”
By Pete Peterson A new study released by a Fairfield University research team this past Monday has found concrete evidence that “It Do Be Like That Sometimes.” This is after a controversial argument began years ago, when an epidemic broke out across the internet. Millions of users began discussing how “It be like that sometimes,” … Continue reading University Study Finds That “It Do Be Like That Sometimes”
PETA Enraged by Salmon Shorts
By the Guy in the Blue Scarf Campus PETA advocates gathered today in the Bellarmine Pond to protest the production and wearing of salmon shorts. The animal rights chapter says that millions of salmon are killed every year to produce the popular wardrobe staple. They said that salmon should be left alone in water to … Continue reading PETA Enraged by Salmon Shorts
2020 Democratic Primary Election to be decided by Hunger Games-Style Event
By Pete Peterson Is Bernie willing to die for Medicare For All? He’ll have to be if he wants to win the Democratic Presidential nomination. After the final Democratic Debate on Tuesday night, the Democratic National Convention has decided to reshape how it will choose their nominee for the presidential election in 2020. Gone are … Continue reading 2020 Democratic Primary Election to be decided by Hunger Games-Style Event
Campus Trump Supporters Seek To Ban Transfer Students
By Spencer Irwin In an age where people are becoming increasingly hostile towards outsiders, the pristine campus of Fairfield University is no exception. A handful of demonstrators gathered around the stag statue on an otherwise beautiful Monday afternoon to push their anti-transfer student agenda. The air was so thick with irrational rage you could cut … Continue reading Campus Trump Supporters Seek To Ban Transfer Students
Peer-Reviewed Studies Show Putin’s Smirk is Growing Wider Over Time
By Diogenes Recent scientific studies have demonstrated what seems to be the early development of a startling trend. Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian Federation, well-known for demonstrating a smug grin while formulating mischievous plans for global wrongdoing, perhaps has been becoming more devious and sly over time. Deeply concerning empirical studies on the width of … Continue reading Peer-Reviewed Studies Show Putin’s Smirk is Growing Wider Over Time
Kavanaugh Fails Title IX Training
By Nathan Schmidt This week, an independent investigation revealed that Brett Kavanaugh received a failing score on his mandatory Title IX training. The training procedure, designed principally to increase awareness of the nature of sexual harassment and assault, turned out to entirely befuddle the Yale graduate and current judge, who had never heard of these … Continue reading Kavanaugh Fails Title IX Training
Inside the Trump Administration’s Mass Firings
By Zachary Quinones It is no secret that the Trump administration has had its share of people being fired or leaving the administration. From former chief strategist and known staring contest winner Steve Bannon to Former White House Chief of Staff and known by the president ‘he-who-shall-not-be-named-because-I-can’t-pronounce-it’ Reince Priebus, people have been dropping like flies, … Continue reading Inside the Trump Administration’s Mass Firings
The Memo Has Been Released!
By Zachary Quinones Often referred to as the ‘Nunes’ memo, this document has been released to the public as part of the investigation of potential abuses by the FBI, DOJ, and the Democratic National Committee. After careful analysis of the memo, one can conclude that members of the Democratic National Committee were trying to obtain … Continue reading The Memo Has Been Released!
Pelosi to Schumer: “Don’t Worry, I Put Glue on their Seats.”
By Zachary Quinones On the evening of the State of the Union address to congress, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), had decided to do something dastardly: put glue on the seats of her fellow Democrats. The sticky compound was one that Senator Sanders had stayed up all night crafting in his cauldron, which explains why … Continue reading Pelosi to Schumer: “Don’t Worry, I Put Glue on their Seats.”
Stagnation 