Pelosi to Schumer: “Don’t Worry, I Put Glue on their Seats.”

By Zachary Quinones

On the evening of the State of the Union address to congress, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), had decided to do something dastardly: put glue on the seats of her fellow Democrats. The sticky compound was one that Senator Sanders had stayed up all night crafting in his cauldron, which explains why he appeared to resemble a wizard tired from a late night of stirring the pot. This was a means of assuring that none of the Democrats would stand at any moment during the address given by President Trump. Attempts to stand were made by people like Senator Joe Manchin (D-WV), but he decided that he’d rather not rip the rear end of his suit and reveal to the rest of the chamber the fact that he went commando to the State of the Union.

Watch the near-embarrassing slip up by Senator Manchin: 

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