Brave Student Makes the Arduous Journey to McAuliffe Hall Twice a Week

By Katherine Klima FAIRFIELD, CT– Bravery and sheer stupidity are two things Fairfield University freshman, Joe King, is not unfamiliar with. “I’ve been stirring up trouble for as long as I could remember,” said King in an exclusive interview. “I think that’s why I was so interested in the challenge.” King is one of few … Continue reading Brave Student Makes the Arduous Journey to McAuliffe Hall Twice a Week

Crime Feat: Week of 10/1

Monday, 10/1 10:35 p.m.—DPS officers found a student had converted a papaya into a smoking device in Regis Hall. The student was referred to student conduct after a DPS officer asked how he did it and if it mattered what fruit he used. Thursday, 10/4 7:29 p.m.—A Fairfield Prep student went in LLBCC room 202 … Continue reading Crime Feat: Week of 10/1

Kavanaugh Fails Title IX Training

By Nathan Schmidt This week, an independent investigation revealed that Brett Kavanaugh received a failing score on his mandatory Title IX training. The training procedure, designed principally to increase awareness of the nature of sexual harassment and assault, turned out to entirely befuddle the Yale graduate and current judge, who had never heard of these … Continue reading Kavanaugh Fails Title IX Training

FUSA Cancelling Campus Activities Budget in Favor of Monorail

By Trevor MacDonnell FUSA has taken to making budget cuts in lieu of excessive spending last semester. With programs running rampant with expenses, it seems on-campus activities will be the main victim of these cuts. An anonymous source in FUSA has stated that Pres Ball may be one of the larger events that is cut … Continue reading FUSA Cancelling Campus Activities Budget in Favor of Monorail

BREAKING: Today is National Boyfriend Day

By Sabina Dirienzo BREAKING: Today is National Boyfriend Day, and according to your Instagram feed, that one couple is still together. "They fight in the corner of every party," said Trevor Richards '20, "I really thought it was over." While Sarah Allen '20 and Steve Jones '20 definitely hate each other, according to Sarah's Instagram … Continue reading BREAKING: Today is National Boyfriend Day

BREAKING: Dakota Needs Therapy Human

By Nathan Schmidt Fairfield University’s emotional support dog Dakota, located in Canisius Hall, has begun seeking treatment from a qualified therapy human after being burned out by the constant despair of her student visitors. Dakota, who has served the needs of students at the university since 2015, has finally been pushed to a breaking point of … Continue reading BREAKING: Dakota Needs Therapy Human

Crime Feat: Week of 9/24

Tuesday, 9/25 2:25 p.m.—A student reported to DPS that his cocaine delivery was stolen from the mailroom. He reports that after receiving an email about his package and bringing his package slip to the mailroom, the mailroom personnel denied having received his delivery. All mailroom personnel are currently being questioned. Anyone with information is encouraged to … Continue reading Crime Feat: Week of 9/24

Two Students Have Sex on the Stag ;) DPS No-Likey

By Trevor MacDonnell Fairfield police are looking into an incident that occurred last night around 3:00 AM.  The incident involved two students, one male, approximately 5’11, clean shaven, average looking, and one female, brunette, about 5’5 in height, out of his league in looks.   The two students allegedly had relations 😉 in the middle … Continue reading Two Students Have Sex on the Stag 😉 DPS No-Likey