By Katherine Klima
FAIRFIELD, CT– Bravery and sheer stupidity are two things Fairfield University freshman, Joe King, is not unfamiliar with.
“I’ve been stirring up trouble for as long as I could remember,” said King in an exclusive interview. “I think that’s why I was so interested in the challenge.”
King is one of few students that have been cursed with the unfortunate circumstance of having Philosophy 101 in McAuliffe Hall every Monday and Thursday. After realizing where the class would take, a majority of the freshman class had dropped out due to the long journey. Well, all except one.
“Only crazy people will make that journey, and that’s Joe ,” said Martin Sink ‘22 about King, his roommate. “I’ve seen him drink an entire bottle of nail polish removal. He’s bat shit crazy!”
McAuliffe Hall is located at the end of all living civilization. King lives in Residence Hall Jogues, which makes the journey an excruciating twenty minute walk.
“Since it’s such a long way, I have to prepare myself for what’s to come,” said King. “You never know. People are fucking lawless!”
Before he makes the brave trip, King will pack bottled water, some cliff bars, a machete, an entire red bull, a copy of “Into the Wild”, flint, a flare gun, a photo of Bear Grylls, and a sweatshirt for those extra chilly mornings. However, this also a lot of times causes him to forget his homework, so sometimes when King is feeling daring, he will make two rounds to McAuliffe.
When King makes his brave journey every Monday and Thursday, it doesn’t go without an audience. Students and staff as far as Faber Hall find themselves watching with eager eyes as King makes his long walk.
“He embodies everything that is an American hero,” said Jane Moe ‘19. “Everyone loves Joe. He even made friends with the DPS officer who’s always riding his bike.”
DPS officer Poe Leece is always one step behind King, encouraging him as he rides his bike behind King every Monday and Thursday. However, it has been reported that Leece has been assigned to follow King due to the fact King has a couple reported strikes for possession of a machete.
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Meanwhile, dozens of freshmen have gone missing forever due to A&S classes being held in the nursing building.