Campus Trump Supporters Seek To Ban Transfer Students

By Spencer Irwin In an age where people are becoming increasingly hostile towards outsiders, the pristine campus of Fairfield University is no exception. A handful of demonstrators gathered around the stag statue on an otherwise beautiful Monday afternoon to push their anti-transfer student agenda. The air was so thick with irrational rage you could cut … Continue reading Campus Trump Supporters Seek To Ban Transfer Students

Spider-Man 3: A Deconstruction of the Superhero Genre

By Michael Atkins Scarface, Clyde Checks Out, Kazaam. What do these films have in common? They all take the magnificent form that challenges the cinematic world. Scarface revitalized the gangster genre alongside The Godfather. Clyde Checks Out allowed viewers to see that monkeys could be used in something other than space shuttles. And Kazaam is … Continue reading Spider-Man 3: A Deconstruction of the Superhero Genre

COSO Accidentally Re-Enacts Bank Run Scene From “It’s a Wonderful Life”

By Nathan Schmidt Improv theater and real financial hardship mixed this week when the Council of Student Organizations staged a live, unscripted and unintentional re-enactment of a famous bank run scene in cinema. The classic movie It’s a Wonderful Life, released in 1946, includes a moment during which everyone in town rushes to withdraw their … Continue reading COSO Accidentally Re-Enacts Bank Run Scene From “It’s a Wonderful Life”

FU Students Celebrate Sham Jam by Wearing Green and Getting Transported

By Chase Galloway It was coming up on St. Patrick's Day, and Fairfield University was going to celebrate the only way it knows how: by going to the beach regardless of the weather. The party was rocking, the music was loud, and the security guard was rolling his eyes at the kids sneaking down the … Continue reading FU Students Celebrate Sham Jam by Wearing Green and Getting Transported

Prepocalypse: Fiery Stag Appears in Sky as Teenagers Flood Campus

By Nathan Schmidt The end was nigh this week. On Thursday afternoon, terror gripped Fairfield University when the floodgates of Hell opened on campus, sending forth a dark, fiery and monstrous manifestation of Lucas the Stag upon the horizon. The dark creature’s silhouette reared over North Benson Road, flames emanating from its unholy antlers, and … Continue reading Prepocalypse: Fiery Stag Appears in Sky as Teenagers Flood Campus

As the Thermometer Hits 60°, Avoiding Human Interaction on Campus Becomes a Struggle

By Nathan Schmidt Amid the beauty and growing greenery of springtime, a deep sense of dread has settled over the students of Fairfield University. The daily high temperatures have reached about 60 degrees Fahrenheit, a comfortable level for time spent outdoors, and students now face a newfound pressure to actually interact with other human beings. … Continue reading As the Thermometer Hits 60°, Avoiding Human Interaction on Campus Becomes a Struggle

Kazaam: When Evil meets Hip Hop

By Michael Atkins Kazaam is a film directed by Paul Michael Glaser, who was actually the leader of a demonic cult known as “Aviv Sal Segav”. Unfortunately, his soul was then transferred into the film in order to preserve the purity of Glaser’s essence. Soon after its release, Glaser’s body became imbued with the soul … Continue reading Kazaam: When Evil meets Hip Hop

“Talking Statue” of Pope Francis Accused of Debauchery

By Nathan Schmidt Scandal erupted in the Barone Campus Center this week when students made allegations of debauchery against the statue of Pope Francis underneath the Tully Dining Commons. The so-called “talking statue,” meant to stimulate spiritual dialogue, features a large hollow base that students can insert handwritten notes into to help share their ideas. … Continue reading “Talking Statue” of Pope Francis Accused of Debauchery