Professors Cancel Class Until Students Stop Coughing

By Rosemary Harper Good news for Fairfield students this week: Nearly all undergraduate professors have decided to cancel classes, as they are fed up with students coughing during their lectures. As we are in the midst of cold and flu season, several students have contracted one or more diseases, many of which include the uncontrollable … Continue reading Professors Cancel Class Until Students Stop Coughing

Scientists Discover Cure to 95% of Illnesses on College Campuses: “Wash Your Fucking Hands”

By Pete Peterson Wednesday- In a groundbreaking new study that experts have said may be more important than when the cure for polio was discovered, scientists have discovered a cure to over 95% of all illnesses on college campuses.  The cure is still somewhat in the developmental stage, but the United States Surgeon General Mack … Continue reading Scientists Discover Cure to 95% of Illnesses on College Campuses: “Wash Your Fucking Hands”

DPS Searching For Unlicensed Man Charging $30 For Fake Flu Shots

By Mike Wishart In an effort to keep the student population healthy as we approach the winter months, Fairfield University has offered flu shots in the Barone Campus Center on select afternoons throughout the fall, including this past Tuesday. But this time, things took a sudden turn for the worse. Being the forward thinking institution this … Continue reading DPS Searching For Unlicensed Man Charging $30 For Fake Flu Shots