Mysterious Man Has Been in Library for Ages

By Nathan Schmidt

An unidentified man has been sighted in Fairfield University’s DiMenna-Nyselius Library every day for at least one week straight. Students have reacted with a mix of consternation and bewilderment, since the man doesn’t seem to do anything, and since he’s there all the time without exception.

The nameless visitor has been likened to a specter in the night, haunting the library in the background of everyone’s awareness. It’s unclear what purpose he finds in his visits, in contrast to the many students who make productive use of the library’s computer lab and Starbucks beverages. His nondescript but vaguely middle-aged appearance only complicate matters by making him stand out at a glance from the youthful and fashionably dressed student body, especially since he seems to lack any mobile devices to take his attention.

“I don’t get it,” said Lauren Magellan ‘21, who was in the library for a research project. “I don’t think he’s faculty, but he’s way too old to be a student, right? I hope he’s not homeless. But he has such nice shoes! Oh, God, I’m confused. I need to get out of here.”

On the occasion of the most recent (and most unsettling) sighting, the man was witnessed visiting the stacks on the upper floor of the library, whereupon he removed a book from the shelf and began reading it on the spot.

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