The Tragedy of Darth Binks the Wise

By Connor O’Rourke

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Binks the Wise?

It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Binks was once a wise, yet despised evil mastermind whose foolish behaviour and dimwitted demeanour would lead you to think he wasn’t a Sith Lord. Binks was so powerful that he could use the Force to completely ruin The Phantom Menace and be prominently featured in The Clone Wars. His knowledge of the Dark Side was immense. So much so that he killed a whole village of Ewoks by tripping over a branch. The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities, like this one, that some may consider to be unnatural.

He became so powerful and goofy that, the only thing he was afraid of losing was his political career in the Senate that has led to untold misery and sequels. Eventually, he did lose this power to the one they call Darth Plagueis the Wise. Unfortunately, he taught Plagueis everything he knew, then the young Plagueis killed him by telling him to stick a fork in the Senate toaster. It’s ironic that he could bring so much inadvertent pain and destruction to others, yet succumb to death by toaster.

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