Stagnation Bought Out By Dunkin Donuts; Rebranded as Staggin’ Nations

By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium

Due to an issue with budgeting, Stagnation came close to shutting down this spring — and we would have, had it not been for the generous aid of Dunkin’ Donuts. Of course, this hasn’t been without some sort of repayment. Every article from here on out will include some form of Dunkin’ Donuts advertisement either in focus or passing. Speaking of which, you should try their new Groundhog Day Ham and Swiss Cheese Sandwich sold only in Fairfield University.

On a side note, Dunkin’ Donuts has already closed down on campus, so you’ll have to head to the nearest Fairfield Dunkin’ Donuts if you want it. Make of that what you will.

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