By Nathan Schmidt
This week, the College of Arts and Sciences has announced a new minor, starting in spring 2021, for socialist revolutionary action. In the wake of other subversive and daring academic programs as seen in the Humanitarian Action minor and the Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies minor, the CAS has now moved directly into teaching students to overthrow governments and set up socialist states.
Several new courses have been created specifically for the minor, such as HIST 21920 History of Socialist Subversion, POLI 20734 Comparative Political Revolutions, and ENGL 10282 Dangerously Inflammatory Rhetoric Writing. These courses, taken together, will offer students an interdisciplinary lesson in dismantling the corrupt capitalist American establishment and instituting a revolutionary socialist framework in its place.
“This minor is a landmark achievement for Fairfield University,” said Professor Gladys Gladstonian, who teaches management in the Dolan School of Business, and who was an ardent supporter of the creation of the minor. “Minors like this one show students what options are available to them across schools and departments. And so when the future business leaders of America come to Fairfield, they’re going to see the College of Arts and Sciences advocating socialist revolution. This is a fantastic boon for the DSB — I mean the CAS — this is good for everyone. Hey, that sounds like a socialist slogan, doesn’t it? Haha.”
Students, meanwhile, have had more mixed reactions to the minor. CAS student and English major Laura Ingelblend ‘23 said to Stagnation reporters over a Zoom call at 2 AM, “Honestly, I kind of prefer libertarian capitalism, because my family’s already pretty rich. So I’m good just studying old dead English authors, instead of old dead Russian authors. Hey, was Karl Marx Russian?”
The Socialist Revolutionary Action minor is nevertheless expected to attract an extremely large following, in great part due to its unique service learning opportunities of tropical guerilla warfare. Students can already sign up for the relevant courses (and their accompanying watch list) starting during the current registration period, and many of them are already filling — so if you want to get in on the revolution, act quickly.