Weekly COVID-19 Tests Stolen by Turkeys; Results Gobbled

By Frederick “Quickie” Mercurium

RecPlex- Dr. Morris Reau stood by a battered door with marks indicating some sort of avian talons. His face was a screaming image of stress, tiredness, and some feeling of vengeance.

“Goddamn turkeys,” said Reau as the custodians began to clean the broken bits of glass and brick off the ground.

Reau believes that ever since the incident in India where a monkey stole COVID samples, turkeys have begun doing the same. 

“First, monkeys. Now turkeys. Next, the world!” Reau had shouted before DPS placed him under isolation for COVID, as he had taken off his mask.

Reau believes that the turkeys will bust him out since they’re obviously working on a vaccine with the monkeys. Maybe they’ll get it faster than most scientists right now — who knows?

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