Fairfield Temporary Ice Rink Rebranded as “State of the Art Ankle Workout”

By Rosemary Harper

This semester Fairfield University has generously supplied the student body with a temporary 1 ½ month ice skating rink located on the Campion basketball courts. Because of budget and the time of year, the rink is obviously plastic with a lubricant coating on top. Unfortunately because the “ice” makes it nearly impossible to skate, the experience one has in this facility is not skating but what many students refer to as “plastic scooting.” Nothing says spring vibes like painfully scooting around on fake ice.

Needless to say, the turnout and request for uses are not what the university had hoped for when setting up this space. In an effort to try and get some semblance of their money’s worth, the University has decided to rebrand the temporary facility. Struck by inspiration located in student’s burning ankles, the temporary rink has been rebranded as the “State of the Art Ankle Workout.” Students have the option to scoot round the rink in circles, up and down or back and forth on the curling strips until their legs beg them to stop.

The University is hopeful that this will not trick students, but rather encourage them to be more active on campus in a time where many are confined to their dorm rooms. Despite their best efforts, the turnout has gone from zero students per day to one student signing up, but chickening out at the last minute because it was raining.