Fairfield Archives Department Reveals that the Circle Outside Donnarumma Hall Is not a Pool

By Willoughby Humphrey

I was in the doldrums of the basement of the library and looking through the old archives of this fine, Jesuit institution, which I must say is hard to access in the compact stacks as it is difficult for me to twist and spin the handles to wind it open. I think the history of this university should be put front and forward right at the entrance, so it is difficult to pass by without witnessing the pure history in front of you. But I digress, it was in these wondrous old tomes that I plucked a particular book dedicated to the construction of the fine buildings of the humanities: Canisius and Donnarumma Hall.

I went to the section of Donnarumma Hall first, because a peculiar question had always bugged me for quite some time: what the Devil is the purpose of the circular depression in the ground outside of the building? Its shape does not work for an amphitheater, nor for any exercise for the students. Therefore, the most logical explanation I had been able to ascertain is that it was used as a swimming pool. I know, shocking to hear from me to you wonderful readers anything close to an endorsement of having fun, but nothing else made any sense regarding its purpose given its shallowness and step down into the main area.

I flipped through the pages with breathless enthusiasm as I was nearly able to find the answer to this great mystery on this campus. And the great mystery was finally revealed as not being a pool at all. I should not be too surprised at the real answer to this question, but I think anyone curious enough to peruse this article should be in kind to search for it themselves. It may or may not be an abandoned missile silo used to strike down any enemies of Fairfield U, but I will let you use your own discretion. I am an educator, after all.

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