Breaking: Basketball Player Attends Class

By Amy Beth

Multiple reports confirm that Jimmy Morrison, the star basketball player of the Fairfield Stags Men’s Division 1 team, attended English 101 in Canisius today at 11 a.m.

One student could not believe how tall he was in real life.

“I have only seen him on the court when I am in the stands so to be eye level with him was astounding,” said Joe Jones ‘20. “He is just so tall, so, so tall. He even had to duck his head to enter the classroom. It was amazing to see a star in class with me; it felt like he, too, was a student.”

Another onlooker was shocked that he was carrying a book instead of a ball. Sure, it may have been a playbook, but it did appear to have words in it—not just pictures.

A classmate, Alyssa Marez ‘18, shared similar sentiments.

“I had the privilege of sitting behind him in class,” Marez said. “It did not even matter that I could not see the board. I was too enamored by his large frame and muscular shoulders and arms. I, I, it was just such a privilege…I am at a loss for words.”

After the fifty-minute class ended, students filled the halls snapping pics and asking for autographs.

The basketball star declined to comment when he was asked how it felt to be in class. It appeared that he was headed back to his natural habitat, Walsh Athletic Center to work on his free throws and bench presses.

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